mental stimulation

i always appreciate good conversations with good friends because to be quite honest, there's not too many people i know that could even hold one. &when it's the bf, the best man &myself there's plenty of mental stimulation. it's always the best of times when my favorite whiteboy, christopher james hudson, is in town :) naturally there's deep convo, debate &perspective. &boonce has just always been the best listener, tie breaker &/or fight breaker-upper. LOL. bein' the psych major he is (whiteboy) i promised him i'd be his first patient ;) of course &most obviously he wouldn't be my first therapist, but he would by far be the best. &we would both be gaining something. he's one of the two people who knows how to talk to me without intentionally givin' advice &makin' it about him. &well, if i'm one of the two women in his life that gets to decide who he marries then obviously through our convos my opinions matter. haha.

some people think they could help another by simply offering advice or by a relation &/or comparison. but most times that isn't the solution nor case. when someone is in need, feeling down, or simply wants someone to listen... why is it that people act so selfishly as to try &relate. most times people just want to see things in a whole new perspective, to reassure themselves. &a WHOLE new perspective, not a similar case from another person's point of view. as humans we can offer advice but in the end we make our own choices &decisions. &since we do that, why not help ourselves &neglect the advice of others. politely listen, but don't become too influenced by the faults, regrets &/or learning experiences of others.

at least, that's how i am. as much as i love to hear what others have to say, i can only accept advice from myself. people don't realize that we all have different issues because naturally we are all different. people can go through similar situations but it's how we deal with the situation &how it makes us feel that separates us. so as easy as it is for people to try &relate, nobody really can. now if you take that issue, problem, decision, or thought &look at it outside of the box &see it for what it is instead of how others may... then maybe we can all learn to help ourselves.

that's exactly why it's always a pleasure when whiteboy is around. he doesn't encourage what's right from wrong or what choices to make. he doesn't try to relate or compare to anythin'. he simply lays it out all on the table &works from outside the box down to the center. &he has me as his friend to help him realize he does just this. haha. &i'm not necessarily talkin' about personal things but with any issue or in anybody else's case. it's not always about ourselves but about the issue itself.

by dealing with things this way, i haven't necessarily solved all my problems or anythin'. but i'd like to think that it has helped me be less selfish. i am more observant of all situations &circumstances &no longer seek guidance, but choose to help myself. &although it may seem a bit hypocritical, i looove encouraging others to think more about their issues &find their own solutions!




just bloggin' about everything is so mentally stimulating... lol. gnight!