life.

i hardly recover because i've become immune to different drugs. i'm immune to some drugs because i'm consistently takin' them. i'm constantly sick because i never get enough rest. i don't get enough sleep because my mind is always runnin' rapid. i'm always thinkin' &worryin' because i'm apparently depressed or vice versa. &drugs don't help because i've taken too many of them! i'm easily hurt because my body is weak. i'm fragile because i never have the energy to become stronger. &i can't find that energy because i don't sleep, i'm sick, or just too damn emotional...

sometimes i wish for some kind of huge medical reason as to why i am, the way i am. such as i brain tumor, cancer or somethin'. instead of the reason bein' somethin' as simple as a hereditary excuse. it's sad &selfish of me to say for those who really have such things to worry about. i just feel so unappreciative of my lifestyle &undeserving of my life &i really have no reason to.

i feel as if my days are on repeat &i'm not goin' anywhere because my body or mind isn't lettin' me...

i'm happy, i'm sad, i'm mad, i'm sick, i'm hurt, i'm in pain, i'm out, i'm in bed, i'm at a dr's office... welcome to my life! HELP!