no love in this club.

there's 3 months until i'm officially 21 &like any other 21 year old, you'll expect me to be goin' out every other weekend for the next few months afterwards. which is exactly why i am no longer eager to use my aunt's ID to go "clubbin'" anytime before then. (unless of course, after a long hard day a drink &some dancin' is necessary.)

so my fellow UAD &MOB squad, my sincerest apologies for not wantin' to go out to a club &celebrate "us". or to celebrate "bullshit" for that matter...

&although none of you know, but i do have some personal conflicts with the clubbing nightlife. as most of you all do know, my family is rather young... really young &i've grown up watchin' everyone go out &go clubbin'. even until this very day. &my harshest memories are when i used to stay up 'til 2-3am cryin' &sittin' by the door waitin' for my dad to come home. (which i realize now could somehow relate to my delayed sleepin' disorder now...?!) &i would also hold on to my dad as i slept just to reassure myself he was there &didn't try to sneak away to go clubbin'. crazy right?! i was definitely &most obviously a daddy's girl when i was younger. it's still mentioned sometimes how i used to throw tantrums to make him stay home. &even though i never wanted him to go out to begin with, i loved findin' king sized candies under my pillow the following mornings.

well anyway, what i'm tryin' to say is that i already have some sort of discouragement towards clubbin'. &with the amount of goin' out that i've already done in the past 4 years of my life, i wouldn't like to become any more sick of idea before i'm 'officially' 21!

though, i would looove to dance anywhere else. &alcohol is never an issue. so what really is the point of it all right?! besides the excitement, the excitement that we've all already experienced plenty of times. the excitement that we could create ourselves with just us friends anyway.

love you guys, but i'll pass this time around. i'll plan the casino/cocktail night to make up for it! ;)